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September 04, 2007

What's Eating Tiki Barber?

Tiki Barber doesn't want to be on TV. He wants to be on the playing field. He admitted so much with his claim that, "..."If Tom Coughlin had not remained as head coach of the Giants, I might still...

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August 21, 2007

The More Things Change...

The Bears have 32 Super Bowl-quality starters. They've got probably the best defense in the league, probably the best special teams in the league, and an offense littered with young playmakers. They've also got a quarterback who can move...

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July 30, 2007

Bill Walsh: 1931-2007

We don't typically like to talk about death, here. This is through no cold-heartedness -- it's just a sensitive subject, and in the year-plus we've been working on this site, there hasn't been a death incredibly close to us;...

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It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year....

The time between the NFL Draft and the beginning of training camps is excruciating for me. For three months, I scrounge for any possible pigskin crumbs -- this year it began in May, when I downloaded the Saints' entire...

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July 24, 2007

Ugggghhhh....

Just imagining what might have happened to this dog just minutes after this picture was taken makes me want to destroy Mike Vick with every fiber I have. Go to PETA's website to send a letter to Roger Goodell....

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July 18, 2007

Mike Vick Indicted; In Other News, He Still Sucks

So the news came down yesterday -- Mike Vick was indicted on seven counts of "being a disgusting, cruel, murderous cunt who knowingly spreads herpes and doesn't know how to travel with weed properly." Oh, also, the dog fighting...

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July 02, 2007

Buona Notte, NFL Europa

NFL Europa, we hardly knew thee. The NFL's overseas daughter-league is dead, and no one cares. In fact, I believe more people care about the league's demise in America, where we have the real thing, than Europa's abroad target...

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June 26, 2007

Happy Birthday To Us

We're late! Which isn't to say we're pregnant (we were safe and spent the next morning jumping up and down, just in case), but to take a moment and reflect on a day in the blogosphere that quietly passed --...

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June 20, 2007

Making It Rain on Pacman's Parade

Bemoan Pacman Jones all you want. You can point the finger and judge (that's probably the Christian in you), and you can call him whatever pleases you -- "thug," "gangster," and "poo-breath" are all fair game. Obviously, strip club...

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June 12, 2007

Who's the Next Idiot to Gamble on Culpepper?

The other week, I saw some kid walking into 7-11 wearing a Miami Culpepper jersey. I just wanted to give him my condolences for such a bad purchase. Much like Moss' Raiders jersey or Alonzo Mourning's Nets jersey, it's...

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May 21, 2007

Portis Ruins Images

For awhile, everyone liked Clinton Portis. But because of his smarts, that's about to change. You see, he's the guy -- probably the only guy -- who backs Michael Vick in the dog fighting fiasco. And he's not saying...

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May 09, 2007

You Could See This One Coming...

I really feel for Donovan McNabb. He's been everything you'd want in a quarterback -- a great player, a great leader, smart, well-respected in the locker room (mostly) -- yet he's had to deal with more people publically calling...

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April 27, 2007

Mike Vick is Officially a Scumbag

I haven't respected Mike Vick for awhile. But I didn't hate the guy. He was more just a joke for me because all of his controversial actions were just stupid. He had the James Bond-esque water bottle that was...

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April 26, 2007

Are the Raiders Just Going to be Cheap?

No matter what anyone tells you about the Texans' decision to draft Mario Williams over Reggie Bush, believe this one thing: it was all over money. All things being equal, the Texans would rather have had Bush, but they...

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April 23, 2007

Joe Thomas Will Be At The NFL Draft In Spirit...And On Camera

Joe Thomas' decision to forego the glitz of the NFL draft weekend in New York for a fishing trip with his father has raised a curious, unexpected stink. Actually, maybe it's not so unexpected, as I get the feeling...

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April 18, 2007

Vince Young, The Curious Madden Choice

_image_02.jpg&autoPlay=0" /> _image_02.jpg&autoPlay=0" > A lot of ink (do computers have ink inside of them?) has been spilled about EA's decision to place Vince Young on the cover of Madden 2008. Forget about the curse, I think the downfall...

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April 10, 2007

Goodell's Got Some Balls

NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell decided to take a stand on off-the-field transgressions that seems to be plaguing the league. He chose the two with the most well-known troubles and showed them, and the league, how he would tolerate them....

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March 26, 2007

Monday Night Football Now 33% Less Bad

The news that Ron Jaworski is stepping in for Joe Theismann on Monday nights this year is certainly welcome news, a step in the right direction. Not only has ESPN finally gotten the hint that just about none of...

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March 22, 2007

Matt Schaub -- He Can Be the Next David Carr

Matt Schaub has finally gotten his chance. The highly-toted backup to Atlanta's Model Citizen Mike Vick was traded to the Houston Texans for an exchange of first round picks (Texans get the 10th, Falcons get the 8th) and the...

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Archuleta Trade Illuminates NFL Stupidity

I guess it's hard to criticize NFL owners for spending every cent of their salary cap dollars. The way the NFL's popularity is expanding at a celestial rate, there's just a lot of money floating around. And who can...

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March 09, 2007

The Bears Haven't Been Kind This Offseason

They let Ron Rivera, one of the best defensive coordinators in the NFL, go because they wouldn't pay him. It took a swell of public persuasion to finally give Lovie Smith a raise. They franchised Lance Briggs against his...

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March 01, 2007

Did Calvin Johnson Run Himself Into the #1 Spot?

Heads turned when Calvin Johnson ran a 4.35 in the 40 at the NFL combine last week. Johnson was already cemented as the #1 receiver in the draft, but in less than four-and-a-half seconds, he made a case for...

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Hopefully, A Full "Cut That Meat" Skit

It's awesome being the Super Bowl MVP and the most recognizable face in the NFL (even with a wig and mustache). There are perks. Groupies. Endorsements. Free drugs. Errr....scratch that one. There's also the opportunity to host Saturday Night...

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February 27, 2007

Yeah, That's About Rock Bottom

I've tried to stay away from this Pacman Jones story -- it's been done just about everywhere, and there's nothing really new I can add. Although I've been working on making it rain -- I use coins, though, because...

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February 19, 2007

Reid Accompanies Son To Rehab

The headline about says it all. No doubt you've heard of the Reid siblings, sons of Eagles head coach Andy, and their brushes-in with the law recently. Well, Garrett Reid, who was found with heroin after a traffic accident...

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Norv Turner?

A.J. Smith is a shrewd GM, so when he fired Marty Schottenheimer, like, seven minutes ago, I thought that he had a plan. An ace up his sleeve, you could say. I thought about Ron Rivera, or Mike Singletary,...

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February 13, 2007

Schott Not!

Hey, looks like I got a chance to use that title after all. The Chargers actually surprised me when they fired Marty Schottenheimer, and that alone is a shock. We all assumed he was going to get canned. In...

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February 09, 2007

Wade Phillips?

Wade Phillips is a ridiculous choice for the head coach of the Cowboys. I think we can all agree on that. But based on reactions around the nation, it seems as if people are taking Jerry Jones to task...

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February 07, 2007

Why Would Grossman Possibly Want Out?

I've had an inkling that Rex Grossman was being a tad paranoid about the way he's been treated in Chicago over the last year. You know, I thought that most of the negativity directed towards Grossman was coming from...

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February 06, 2007

Bad Rex Applies to Career Moves, As Well

Rex Grossman has had it with you ignorant people questioning his ability to be a successful NFL quarterback. You hear me? He's HAD IT! And he's so fed up that he might refuse to sign with the Bears before...

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February 05, 2007

Congrats, Peyton

The popular opinion is in on Super Bowl XLI, and it's not good. Some liken it to the Tampa/Oakland disaster a few years ago. Most agree that this was the worst Super Bowl in the last seven years, at...

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February 02, 2007

A Long Fall For Quincy Carter

It's a little shortsighted to blame Bill Parcells' retirement on Tony Romo. This is the man who had to deal with Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson, Drew Henson, Vinny Testaverde, and Drew Bledsoe. Compared to that motley crew, Tony Romo...

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Chad Johnson Questioned in Murder

My initial reaction upon reading that Miami police wanted to talk to Chad Johnson about a murder was, perhaps like yours, shock. Johnson has become the league's most affable character, a guy who has managed to be both the...

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January 31, 2007

Samac: Will Someone Get These Kids Laid?

We've got another contributor joining the fray, here. His name's Shawn Samac. Welcome him as you would any other outstanding gentleman. Either this is exclusive footage from last week’s Association of Midwestern Virgins get-together or it’s two kids engaged in...

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This Is What It's Coming To

For all the talk about Super Bowl commercials, they, like the game itself, always seem to let me down. The last time I think I actually laughed out loud at a spot during the big game was the "Terry...

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This Ain't Around the Horn, Plaschke

Everywhere you go on this here series of tubes, the sporting world is talking about Media Day and making fun of how absolutely ridiculous it is. We're not gonna go there. Media Day is totally awesome, because the players...

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January 30, 2007

Peyton Manning's A Choker?

It took a week after the Saints lost to the Bears to actually be able to muster any interest in football again. For a while, I didn't want to hear about Peyton Manning's quest to get off the shitter...

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Tony Dungy Hates Them Gays

Well, duh. Any man that possesses such a faith in God HAS to hate gay people. It's part of that silly credo Christians believe in. Oh, I guess a backstory is necessary: Dungy appears on the website for the...

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January 29, 2007

It's Not Summer, But Mariotti Loves Flip-Flops

I'm glad that people are on top of these sportswriters and all of their inconsistencies. Now with the internet, where everything is archived for the world to see, we're finally able to prove that these people are just like you...

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Monday YouTube Extravaganza

It's going to be a video day today. I know I've been slacking off, big-time, but things have been hectic in the Jerz lately. Sorry. We're putting out calls for contributors to help me get my shit in order, expect...

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January 23, 2007

Who Do I Think Should Coach Dallas Next? Mike Martz

I'm writing this because I know, even though he doesn't like to admit it, Jerry Jones holds my opinion very high. So, just in case I'm at work when he calls, he can read my opinion here. When it...

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January 22, 2007

The (not) Happy Mondays

I'm pretty inconsolable today. The Saints' season is over, and while I enjoy the draft and the offseason and I like the chance to see Asante Samuel in New Orleans, it's so much more fun to analyze playoff matchups than...

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January 20, 2007

Will We Hear From Jeff Samardzija Ever Again?

Notre Dame's record-setting receiver Jeff Samardzija chose to sign a 5-year deal with the Chicago Cubs organization instead of opting to play pro football. While I won't question his decision to choose baseball over football -- it's his decision...

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January 18, 2007

Mike Vick: Role Model Extraordinaire

Unfortunately, I couldn't completely relay sarcasm in the title, but I think you get the idea with the "I'd Hit It" picture. Mike Vick's the guy who flipped off his own fans earlier this season. Now, at a Miami...

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January 17, 2007

Schottenheimer Avoids Most Coaches' Fate

I like Marty Schottenheimer, but I was kinda hoping he was getting fired, just so I could title the blog "Schott Not!" I figured they would keep Marty just because the Chargers were so dominating this year with a...

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January 15, 2007

MORE MEAT!!!

The benevolent Michael Strahan -- friend of Jared's, cuddly teddy bear with bad teeth, locker room cancer -- is at it again. As you've probably heard by now, Strahan was ruled to give $15.3M to his ex-wife Jean which,...

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We Cannot Escape Manning/Brady

If you're checking here looking for my thoughts on the Saints...well, you're not going to get them. I'm so caught up in playoff fever, I simply cannot talk about the team rationally. The fact that the Ravens and Chargers, the...

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January 11, 2007

Kornheiser's Coming Back

It's not Halloween, but the news sure is frightful. Tony Kornheiser is coming back for another year of Monday Night Football. I understand that networks make mistakes, especially when it comes to sports coverage, and putting a good crew...

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Whoever Drafts Adrian Peterson Is Making A Big Mistake

The draft declarations are starting to roll in: JaMarcus Russell, Dwayne Jarrett, and, now, Adrian Peterson is expected to announce his eligibility for the NFL Draft (or, as I like to call it, The Best Sporting Weekend That Doesn't...

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January 10, 2007

Your Winning Super Bowl Ad

You've seen the commercials -- lots of dorks pitch their idea for the perfect Super Bowl ad, and the winner has his made. Well, there's a winner: It doesn't involve monkeys, which is the typical formula for a successful Super...

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January 09, 2007

Shovegate: The Movie

I'm not going to get into any sort of ethical discourse over Bill Belichick's Shove (it deserves to be capitalized at this point). It's just funny. The photographer doesn't have a problem with it, though his paper, The Boston...

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Petrino Could Be Smart

I might be a day, or two, or three behind on this. Sorry, I'm no slave to you. Bobby Petrino is, of course, the new coach of the Falcons. Supposedly he's got the final call on whether or not...

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January 06, 2007