Todd Sauerbrun is no ordinary punter. Evidence:
1 - He absolutely trucks players in the open field, even causing a fumble with the tackle above.
2 - He's the only player since 1970 to lead the league in punting average three years in a row.
3 - He's been disciplined in the past for being overweight.
4 - His license plate reads "HANGTIME."
The last of those four points indicates he's a pompous asshole. The other three lend support to what the NFL has confirmed: Todd Sauerbrun is a juicer. At least, he's tested positive for ephedra, and will be suspended for the first four weeks of the season. Suspicion first broke when Sauerbrun punted for Carolina, when he and a few other Panthers were linked to Dr. James Shortt, a physician who's admitted to prescribing illegal steroids to footballers. At the time this news broke Carolina was already trying to trade the 'Brun because of his past troubles. All of this proves my theory, yet again, that you get what you deserve when you pick a kicker in the draft all.