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Don't Let the 'Beck off the Hook

Don't get me wrong -- I like Matt Hasselbeck. Well, at least, I don't respond violently to his presence, which is in and of itself an accomplishment. He's boring, he's methodical, he doesn't drive drunk or beat his wife. But he's OK, I guess. A little too vanilla for me, but whatever.

But it's important that we remember one thing about Hasselbeck (pictured above, at a meeting of the Seahawk Skinheads In Favor of White Superiority group). "We want the ball and we're gonna score." One appearance in the Super Bowl shouldn't detract us from the fact that the man made such a claim (in a girly voice, nonetheless). And it wasn't just that the Seahawks didn't score, as 'Beck said they would, but that he was directly responsible for the ensuing loss. This was a Namathian guarantee blowing up in the best possible way -- one of those random moments in sports that seems to transcend humor and make you believe that there just might be a God and that he/she (as if it wasn't obvious enough by the weather) hates the Northwest.

This is Matt Hasselbeck's defining moment in my mind, and only a championship should kill the goat that accompanies the embarassing incident.