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October 29, 2007

Stupid Crazy Play

Count the Pitches VIA Andrew Sullivan...

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May 14, 2007

You Got Served...Donald Trump/Mark Cuban Edition

It's been a while since our last installment of "You Got Served," but this one is too good to ignore: Trump said, "Mark Cuban is a guy who . . . puts so much pressure on the players. He...

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Yankee Fans...They're Very Creative

This video comes courtesy of the mothership, but it's an all-too-familiar sight. Nobody gets spared from the Yankee bleacher bums' brilliant -- and incredibly matured -- "YMCA" adaptation. I have to admit to enjoying the bleacher experience at Yankee...

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May 9, 2007

O.J's Last Resort Stop: Outback Steak House

O.J. Simpson. Knife. Once-living being. OK, now get that picture out of your head. He was proven not guilty! This story involves the Juice actually being denied before ripping into tender meat with a sharp object. The owner of...

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May 4, 2007

Don Imus Was Forced Into Racism

It's about time this Don Imus thing get buried like the dead horse it is (insert Barbaro joke here). What he said was stupid, no doubt. Should he have been fired? I don't think so. I don't exactly find...

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April 18, 2007

Some Perspective

I don't typically like to get too newsy or serious here. I mean, in the wake of something as awful as the Virginia Tech shooting, what am I supposed to say? Nick Dallamora, however, has plenty of interesting, insightful...

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April 12, 2007

Playoff Beard

The NHL playoffs are upon us. Tonight, the Devils start their journey towards the holiest of grails with a tilt against the Tampa Bay Lightning. I, frankly, am urinous with anticipation. The NHL has, bar none, the best playoffs of...

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March 19, 2007

Hulk Hogan Like You've Never Seen Him Before

Big hat-tip to the blog at sportscolumn.com for this video, especially for their Lost In Translation-biting headline. I really have no idea what this is advertising or when it's from -- is that an air-conditioner? a humidifier? and what...

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Inspect That Package

The above is part of Jakob Nielsen's study of how people look at the Web. Nielsen used an eye-tracker to gauge where people tend to focus on a web page. The study attempts to help web designers create pages...

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March 9, 2007

The Bears Haven't Been Kind This Offseason

They let Ron Rivera, one of the best defensive coordinators in the NFL, go because they wouldn't pay him. It took a swell of public persuasion to finally give Lovie Smith a raise. They franchised Lance Briggs against his...

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This Is Why I Prefer MySpace

When are people going to learn that the Internet is anything but private? The series of tubes is a dangerous thing -- access is available to everyone -- but consider this a case in technological Darwinism. "White Nation" was...

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January 23, 2007

RP: The Dangerous World of Auto-Rickshaw Racing

We've got a new contributor here; he goes by the name of RP. Whenever it strikes his fancy, he'll be contributing his thoughts on just about everything. He sleeps all day and writes all night between episodes of The West...

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RP: The Carly Patterson Workout

We've got a new contributor here; he goes by the name of RP. Whenever it strikes his fancy, he'll be contributing his thoughts on just about everything. He sleeps all day and writes all night between episodes of The West...

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January 4, 2007

The Nickname "Tank" Is Fitting

Some peculiar information has been released regarding Tank Johnson's arrest a few weeks back. Here is what the cops found in his house: .44 Magnum Smith and Wesson .50 caliber Desert Eagle handgun .45 caliber handgun...

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Madden Birds & Bees '07

A 14-year-old thought he was about to hunker down with Madden '07, perhaps for a little Franchise Mode, and got something so so so much better. Christmas became XXX-mas for a 14-year-old Layton boy who discovered hard-core pornography on a...

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December 21, 2006

Mash 'Em Up

Here's the hot new mixtape burning up the Internet this morning: the Allen Iverson/Jim Mora mash-up video. Pretty good stuff, but could be better. First of all, it needs to be longer. Second, this mixtape needs to be fleshed...

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December 15, 2006

One More Friday Video

It's a bunch of refs getting what's coming to them. Enjoy the weekend, everyone! I'm about to go on a two-day bender....

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Let's Laugh at Kids

I cannot thank good ol' Matt Ufford, of the outstanding With Leather, enough for this video. Plus, he's a Seahawk fan, so make sure to visit the site and offer your condolences regarding last night's embarassing self-destruction against the...

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The Return of New Mexico

It's been buzzing around the Internet this morning, everywhere except, oddly, ESPN.com. Marcus Vick is in trouble again, and this time it's a doozy. A girl he's been linked to in the past is now suing him for $6.3M,...

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November 15, 2006

The Suit Is Back For Some Reason

For some reason, Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio and 49er's coach Mike Nolan have gotten permission from the league to wear a suit on the sidelines during games. Both will wear them twice this season. Nolan, besides honoring his...

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November 7, 2006

Tough Old Man

With news that Joe Paterno actually plans on coaching this weekend after breaking his leg, I have to ask myself: why am I such a pussy? I think that's a question we could all afford to ask ourselves today....

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November 6, 2006

That's No Way to Treat Someone

The Associated Press ran a lovely story today on a 45-year-old blind woman from Afghanistan participating in the New York City Marathon. She wants to run the marathon until she's 90. And she wasn't even born blind. In 1997,...

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November 3, 2006

Stephen Colbert Can Single-Handedly Save the NHL

The man has roasted Bush to his face, had a bridge in Hungary named after him, and invented a word ("truthiness"). Now he's going to save hockey in America. The Saginaw Spirit's Colbert-inspired mascot, Steagle Cobeagle the Eagle, has...

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November 2, 2006

Housh Denies Being Racialist

Andy "Don't Call Me 'The Furminator'" Furman, a longtime sports radio personality on WLW in the 'Nati, has been fired after accusing T.J. Houshmandzadeh of being racist. His claim? That Housh failed to make a scheduled appearance on his...

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November 1, 2006

Getting Litigious on the Links

Two men are going to court over a $50,000 hole-in-one prize. When you think of golfers, you think of country clubs, bad outfits, and conniving weathermen trying to keep you from your tee time. But it makes sense that two...

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October 30, 2006

The Ashamed Heckler

Here's an odd one: a heckler with heart. Hooman Hamzehloui, an Orlando Magic season-ticket holder, has issued an apology to Dikembe Mutombo after being ejected for calling Mutombo a monkey while heckling the incoherent big man. Part of the letter...

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October 19, 2006

Merchandising Hits a New Low....Six Feet Low, to Be Exact

And I thought KISS had no shame. Fans of the Yankees, Red Sox, Tigers, Phillies, Cubs and Dodgers now get a new medium to display how lame they are, one that will stay with them for eternity. A company is...

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October 7, 2006

Poor, Poor Kid

As if the Worldwide Leader didn't have its name in enough places. Now it's got to take over birth certificates. Leann Real, a Biloxi native, promised her husband that if they had a son he could pick the name. Hence,...

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September 26, 2006

BEEEEYAHHHH!

I'm incredibly pleased after the Saints' thrashing of the Falcons last night. I'll be able to put it into words eventually, just let me process a bit. But because I'm in a good mood, this is for all of you:...

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September 15, 2006

In Other Kid-Hate News....

Remember Lawrence Phillips? Of course you don't. Well, he was a sixth-overall pick of the Dick Vermeil-led Rams in 1996. He was a running back. He was supposed to be pretty good. He once, in college, dragged his girlfriend...

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You Know, I Don't Even Have a Joke for This

So, when Ozzie Guillen yells at a rookie to hit a batter with a pitch, it makes the news. It demands attention. But what if that batter was 9-years old? And what if he was also autistic? That's exactly what...

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August 24, 2006

Zach Randolph Is NOT A Sexual Assailant

Whew. I'm glad we got that one sorta cleared up. According to the Portland Police Bureau, Randolph was named in a sexual assault report taken last week, but is not a suspect. The bureau would not go into further...

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Defending Todd Pinkston

OK, so Len Pasquarelli is one of my favorite football writers. But that doesn't make this any less ridiculous. Pasquarelli called into a radio show called the "Penner and Mac Show," who's hosts referred to Todd Pinkston as Todd...

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August 19, 2006

Don't Mess With the Mets...Security Staff

Be honest -- you've tried to break some rules at ball games before. Everyone tries to move up to better seats or sneak in some water. Last game I was at, six of us used a rain delay to...

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August 14, 2006

Chris Mortensen Got...Um...Served

Thank you Peter King, for finally bringing light to an issue that needed to be addressed: Chris Mortensen's girlish country club attire in a recent ESPN commercial. Mort's ever the vision of manliness with that sweater tied around his...

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July 29, 2006

Colbert Stands Behind His Man

Stephen Colbert loves America and The Out Route loves Stephen Colbert. In fact, we'll be in the stands for Colbert on August 15th. So if Stephen says Floyd Landis is innocent, we won't argue....

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July 21, 2006

Quite Frankly, That's All You Need

When someone named Jackea Chan contacted Saints Report offering free tickets to the Quite Frankly to see Deuce McAllister, I thought it was a hoax. After all, doesn't Jackea Chan seem like just the most obvious pseudonym? Apparantly, it...

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July 16, 2006

Has It Come To This?

I made a special trip on the "F" train Saturday, taking it all the way to the end at Stillwell Ave. for the Village Voice's annual Siren Fest on Coney Island. I love the festival because it's the only time...

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June 30, 2006

Proof That Masturbating Can Kill People

Stories like this, folks, are the reason we started The Out Route in the first place. Eddie Griffin (the Minnesota Timberwolves center, not the actor/comedian) was arrested and now faces a civil suit after he crashed his car into...

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June 29, 2006

Seven Minutes Of Heaven

Where would we be without Deadspin? Well, the answer to that question today, at least for seven minutes, is at work and humorless. So thank you to the wonderful staff at Deadspin for uncovering gems like this -- Stephen...

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June 21, 2006

Guillen to Mariotti: You Take It In the Ass

Photo courtesy of Deadspin For a while, I thought I'd been desensitized by the media: too much violence, too much sex (OK, maybe we can use more of that, but there's still a lot), too much incredible humor. I...

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