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Poor, Poor Kid

As if the Worldwide Leader didn't have its name in enough places. Now it's got to take over birth certificates.

Leann Real, a Biloxi native, promised her husband that if they had a son he could pick the name. Hence, ESPN Montana Real was born. And so a lifetime of beatings and wet willies begins.

ESPN (pronounced Espen) is obviously named after the network; Montana comes from the name of some quarterback Joe. I've never heard of him.

I cannot believe some people are willing to sacrifice a lifetime of dignity for their children just for the novelty of the name. I'm sure the husband just wants the fun of getting to tell people that, yes, that's where the name comes from. But his name is Rusty Real, and it becomes clearer -- bad names are just something woven into the fabric of the Real family.