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O.J's Last Resort Stop: Outback Steak House

O.J. Simpson. Knife. Once-living being.

OK, now get that picture out of your head. He was proven not guilty! This story involves the Juice actually being denied before ripping into tender meat with a sharp object.

The owner of an upscale steakhouse in Louisville said he asked O.J. Simpson to leave his restaurant the night before the Kentucky Derby because he is sickened by the attention Simpson still attracts.

"I didn't want to serve him because of my convictions of what he's done to those families," Jeff Ruby said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "The way he continues to torture the lives of those families ... with his behavior, attitude and conduct."

"I didn't want that experience in my restaurant," Ruby said, later adding that seeing Simpson get so much attention "makes me sick to my stomach."

He said he went to Simpson's table and said, "I'm not serving you." Ruby said when Simpson didn't respond, he repeated himself and left the room. Ruby said Simpson soon came up to him and said he understood and would gather the rest of his party to leave.

Insert whatever jokes suit your fancy, but I commend Ruby for refusing the patronage. Not because I think O.J. is a murderer, but because it's rare nowadays that convictions take precedent over that cash-money. And I commend O.J. for...well...not slitting the guy's throat.

Luckily, there's always Outback Steak House. As Of Montreal have so conveniently reminded us, you could throw your cares away there. Life will still be there tomorrow, after all.