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Proof That Masturbating Can Kill People

Stories like this, folks, are the reason we started The Out Route in the first place. Eddie Griffin (the Minnesota Timberwolves center, not the actor/comedian) was arrested and now faces a civil suit after he crashed his car into a parked vehicle. Why the arrest for a simple car accident? It's not that simple. Griffin was also drunk, watching porn on an in-dash TV, and masturbating. Talk about a trifecta. This isn't the first sign of trouble from Griffin, who was drafted by the Nets and then immediately traded for Jason Collins, Brandon Armstrong, and Richard Jefferson. Coming out of school, Griffin drew comparisons to Wilt Chamberlain. We thought it was for his basketball skills, not his sex drive.

Griffin repeatedly got in trouble throughout high school and college for violence, including and incident where he reportedly attacked and tried to shoot his girlfriend. He also has a history with alcoholism. And now this. Griffin claims to have been attempting to pick up his cell phone, which led to the accident. Right, bro. We learned from Nate in Six Feet Under that whenever you feel the need to masturbate while driving, you should pull off to the side of the road. Especially when you're driving drunk.

WCCO TV has a video of Griffin in the grocery store trying to bargain his way out of dealing with the cops.