Zach Randolph Is NOT A Sexual Assailant
Whew. I'm glad we got that one sorta cleared up. According to the Portland Police Bureau, Randolph was named in a sexual assault report taken last week, but is not a suspect. The bureau would not go into further detail, or provide journalists with a copy of the report. So let's get this straight: he's an extortionist of sorts, a sucker-punching bad teammate, an underage drinker, a ball-hog, has been caught driving under the influence of marijuana, and drag-racing with guns in his car. But sexual assault? C'mon, let's get our facts straight before we question the young man's character.
My question is, if he's not a suspect, what's his name doing in the report? It's like...if you've got a test in school with multiple choice questions, and the teacher gives you a hint by saying the answer isn't "A" or "C," and that "B" is a little questionable itself. How many people are involved in a sexual assault report? The assailant(s), the victim, and maybe a witness? Personally, I'm hoping Randolph was the victim, because it'd make for some hilarious Court TV.
Where did he touch you, Mr. Randolph?
Comments
They don't call them the JailBlazers for nothin.
Posted by: Evan | August 24, 2006 3:31 PM