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Stephen Colbert Can Single-Handedly Save the NHL

The man has roasted Bush to his face, had a bridge in Hungary named after him, and invented a word ("truthiness"). Now he's going to save hockey in America.

The Saginaw Spirit's Colbert-inspired mascot, Steagle Cobeagle the Eagle, has roused nationwide interest in minor league hockey. The OHL team has gotten weekly airtime on the Colbert show after dedicating the mascot. And now they're setting merchandise records.

The junior hockey club has TV host Stephen Colbert to thank for the sudden interest in the team's jerseys and hats, which now are selling in places as far and wide as California, Ireland and Scotland. "Our hat sales are up 25 percent over last year, and Stephen Colbert has helped us in a big way by talking about us every week," managing partner Craig Goslin told The Saginaw News.

So what's next? Well, I think NHL teams should follow in their lead. Maybe not with a mascot, that'd be too easy. Someone needs to hire him as a coach. And, seeing as how he lives in northern New Jersey, I think I know the perfect under-acheiving team for him to join. I thought Mark Cuban could do wonders for the NHL's popularity, but Colbert would shatter the mold. This isn't just a suggestion. It HAS to happen, and if it doesn't Gary Bettman should promptly be released from his duties, because he's obviously not aware of a good public relations ploy (something the NHL desperately needs) when he sees one.

Seriously, though. The man lives like ten minutes from Kyle and I. We don't tell anyone this, but we spend our entire weekends scoping the local grocery stores, movie theaters, and places of worship hoping to see him. OK, I'm lying. Maybe.