October 26, 2007

Chuck Klosterman Loves the Fucked-Up NBA

Over on ESPN Page 2, Chuck Klosterman explains the NBA's "three problems that are inherent to its modern existence." The NBA is flawed: No other league is as preoccupied with how others feel about its product. At least twice a...

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October 2, 2007

Thomas Found Guilty

I grew up in Michigan. My team was the Detroit Pistons and the years from 1988 through 1992 made Michiganders proud. The usually lackluster Pistons had come together with a playing style that represented the working class ethic and...

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September 21, 2007

Mr. Pritchard Tear Down This Jersey!

The first thing the Portland Trailblazers did after they drafted Greg Oden from Ohio State was put a huge Oden jersey, number one of course, on the side of the Rose Garden Arena. Now that Oden is out for...

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July 31, 2007

In The NBA, One Player Makes All The Difference

Yesterday morning, the Celtics were the laughingstock of the NBA, a maybe playoff team, even in the horrid East. Today, because of this supposed deal for Kevin Garnett, they're a serious threat. They're a championship contender. They're "maybe the...

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July 24, 2007

David Stern Terrifies Me

We haven't commented on the plight of NBA referee Tim Donaghy, the subject of the most obvious breaking story (people WITHIN sports are gambling on games?! gasp!) since word came down that Tom Brady likes to impregnate many beautiful...

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June 28, 2007

Disregard My Previous Kobe Comments

Turns out, Kobe isn't a victim. He's just an idiot. Here's what I said last week, regarding the the 24-second clip (enough time for Kobe to dribble around the frontcourt, ignoring the four open guys he could pass to!)...

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June 20, 2007

What's Eating Kobe Bryant?

There is no ultimate good that can come from the invention of the camera. Yeah, sure, you've got pieces of your Bar Mitzvah preserved for eternity, but is it worth the trade off of offering up the most precious...

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June 6, 2007

Billy's Bitch Out is Complete

It looks like Billy Donovan is now the college coach that lasted the shortest amount of time in the NBA. Orlando released him from his contract so he could return to the University of Florida. Congrats buddy. You have...

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May 14, 2007

You Got Served...Donald Trump/Mark Cuban Edition

It's been a while since our last installment of "You Got Served," but this one is too good to ignore: Trump said, "Mark Cuban is a guy who . . . puts so much pressure on the players. He...

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April 5, 2007

Move Over Cassell, Noah's In Town

For awhile, Sam Cassell held one of the NBA's most well-known awards. Not MVP. Not 6th Man of the Year. Nope, he's held the NBA's Ugliest Man Award. This used to be a highly-debated point when I was in...

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April 2, 2007

This Is Pretty Sweet

As far as I'm concerned basketball has two redeeming qualities: Gilbert Arenas and buzzer-beaters. Rejoice....

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March 14, 2007

Why'd Jordan Get Divorced If He Can't Pull Tail Anymore?

What good is being the greatest player in the history of a sport when it doesn't even get you chicks? Michael Jordan threw up an air ball with the ladies last week at the ME Hotel in Cabo San...

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March 12, 2007

Kobe Throws Them 'Bows

Kobe Bryant's blatant disregard for sportsmanlike conduct doesn't really bother me. It's his refusal to mask it somewhat that perplexes me. The video above captures two Bryant elbows, both of which received one-game suspensions. History repeats itself. An elbow...

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Good News for People Who Like Bad News

Yeah. He's coming back. Garden chairman James Dolan will announce today that Thomas has earned a contract extension. The news comes about nine months after Dolan fired Larry Brown and said that Thomas needed to demonstrate significant progress to...

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March 5, 2007

Say It Ain't So, Shaq

As noted before, I'm a Shaq fan. I admire his game, and support his quest to cleanse the world of perverts. Plus, he just seems like an all-around fun guy to hang out with. But I'm not really in...

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March 1, 2007

With A.I. Gone, Larry Brown Can Return

Which is exactly what Stephen A. Smith says will happen. It's the unspoken expectation around the Wachovia Center these days, but an expectation reverberating around the Sixers nevertheless: The second this season is over, the second team chairman Ed...

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February 27, 2007

Oh My God

These have been floating around the Internet the last couple of days -- my God are they awful. I'm not of the weak-stomach variety; there are few things that I just can't watch. I'm the guy, after all, who watched...

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Reggie Miller Follows Scottie Pippen's Footsteps?

The strange sight of Reggie Miller wearing a uniform that's not of the Pacer variety seems a little blasphemous, but if he was going to play anywhere but Indiana, Dallas is the right place. Anything to get Mark Cuban...

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February 25, 2007

Was No Move A Good Move?

I've waited awhile for the whole Nets trade situation to play out before I decided to weigh in on it. Now, since they decided to go with no trade, I can say that it's a good move. Jason Kidd...

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February 21, 2007

Sulu vs. Tim Hardaway

I've been ignoring the ridiculousness of the Tim Hardaway situation, because it's been everywhere. You don't need another person weighing in on the matter. Everyone agrees that Hardaway's a fool, and that ESPN set up John Amaechi's big coming...

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February 17, 2007

Samac: Scott-Free?

It looks like Scottie Pippen is on the comeback trail. Pippen, 41, hasn't played since February 2004, when a left knee injury forced him to retire. But he told reporters Thursday that he wants to return, hopefully to a...

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February 14, 2007

Corey Maggette Prefers Solitude

Are you listening, Jerry Jones? How about you, Steinbrenner? This is what happens when an owner assumes that he is the equal of a GM or coach (or worse, better) in terms of how to run a team. You...

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February 11, 2007

Arenas Still Waiting on His Revenge

Gilbert Arenas is on a mission -- a revenge mission. Why is he so pissed? Is it because he's named Gilbert? Maybe, but that's not what this is all about. This all about Arenas being cut from Team USA...

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February 8, 2007

Samac: Who's John Amaechi?

John Amaechiís publicist announced on Wednesday that his client, former NBA player John Amaechi, ďis coming out of the closet as a gay man.Ē As a fan of professional basketball and as a human being of quality morals I...

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February 7, 2007

Why Would Grossman Possibly Want Out?

I've had an inkling that Rex Grossman was being a tad paranoid about the way he's been treated in Chicago over the last year. You know, I thought that most of the negativity directed towards Grossman was coming from...

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February 6, 2007

Without Richard Jefferson, the Nets Just Blow

OK, so they've blown with him too. But not as much. I'm a Nets fan, but unfortunately, while a team is suffering so bad -- really, they're sucking it up -- you really can't blog about them on a...

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Honesty Is The Best Policy

Tyrus Thomas is not interested in basketball for the game. And he certainly isn't going to particpate in any extra-curricular activities for the NB--oh, you'll pay him? He's fine with that, then. Asked if he were excited about becoming the...

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February 2, 2007

Boys Club Gets Revenge On Isiah

This is a perfect example of why I hate All Star games. They, like any major award show, are all about politicking and not the actual play. This is nothing groundbreaking, I know, but I'm going to say it...

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Samac: The Rising Sun

The Maryland Nighthawks of the American Basketball Association unveiled the latest addition to their roster this week, a man the team is touting as the tallest in the history of professional basketball. 7-foot-9 Sun Ming Ming was introduced to...

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January 30, 2007

Don't Hate on Shaq

It might offend just about every right-wing Superman fan, but the original depictions of Superman as a white man are wrong. Just like Jesus, it turns out that Superman, really, is black. "Well, Jesus was a real person, and...

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January 29, 2007

Monday YouTube Extravaganza

It's going to be a video day today. I know I've been slacking off, big-time, but things have been hectic in the Jerz lately. Sorry. We're putting out calls for contributors to help me get my shit in order, expect...

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January 10, 2007

Isn't It Ironic -- The Jason Kidd Edition

Remember that Alanis Morisette song "Ironic"? You know, the song where she lists random things that actually aren't ironic at all. Originally, the lyric "It's like rain on your wedding day" was "It's like Jason Kidd filing for divorce...

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January 4, 2007

Somewhere, Stan Van Gundy Smiles

You know what's sad is that Pat Riley, health problems and all, is still a better dancer than I. His leave of absence from the Heat, I'd imagine, will be forever. Or at least until the team is performing...

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December 22, 2006

Here's A Penny For Your Thoughts

This is sort of old news, but my mind isn't what it used to be and sometimes I forget basketball still exists. Forgive me. The Sonics worked out Penny Hardaway on Monday, and coach Bob Hill said Penny was...

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December 21, 2006

Mash 'Em Up

Here's the hot new mixtape burning up the Internet this morning: the Allen Iverson/Jim Mora mash-up video. Pretty good stuff, but could be better. First of all, it needs to be longer. Second, this mixtape needs to be fleshed...

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December 12, 2006

Neverending Trade Talks

There are few constants in life. Death. Taxes. Trade rumors involving Allen Iverson and Manny Ramirez. Will the latter ever come true? It seems as if every year, Manny and AI are the center of their respective rumor circuits....

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December 6, 2006

Is It Something In The Water?

The Atlantic Coast has great beaches, the best bagels and pizza in the country (if you live in New York/New Jersey), and the worst athletic competition you'll ever see. The NHL and NBA factions of the Atlantic used to be...

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November 16, 2006

Renaldo Balkman Has Had Enough of Your Smarminess

Well, Renaldo Balkman has officially proved the doubters wrong. A lot of people didn't think that the Knicks would win a game all season, let alone once in MSG, let alone with Renaldo Balkman leading the way with a...

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November 9, 2006

It's Basic Fundamentals

Last night's NBA action saw 6 of 11 games decided by 5 points or less. Two of those games went to overtime. From an entertainment standpoint, there's no doubt overtime and close games have their thrills. But there's been...

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November 1, 2006

The LeBrons

Let me preface the following with this: I like LeBron James, and I hope he wins a championship and becomes a legend because it's rare that people with such expectations live up to them, and it'd be refreshing to...

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Welcome to the Life, Miami

Well I think I speak for just about everyone when I say that last night's ridiculously lopsided Bulls/Heat game was unexpected. Or maybe it wasn't such a shock? The Heat are an old, experienced team. But mainly just old....

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October 30, 2006

The Ashamed Heckler

Here's an odd one: a heckler with heart. Hooman Hamzehloui, an Orlando Magic season-ticket holder, has issued an apology to Dikembe Mutombo after being ejected for calling Mutombo a monkey while heckling the incoherent big man. Part of the letter...

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September 8, 2006

Now You Don't Need to Get Paid Like an NBA Star to Dress Like One

Dave LaMorte is the host of the Teaching for the Future podcast, about implementing media and technological literacy into education. He's here to cast a less-cynical light on things. You can hear the show at There are few...

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September 1, 2006

Greeced Lightning

Much like my hero Larry David, I find that I am humbled on a daily basis. Todayís humbling is related to Team U.S.A. and the fact that I was wrong about their supremacy. Team U.S.A. is now out of...

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August 24, 2006

Team USA Continues to Roll

Team USA cruised to a victory against Senegal today to go undefeated through five games. Finals MVP Dwyane Wade didnít log a single minute, and they didnít even need him, winning by a comfortable margin of 45 points. As...

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Zach Randolph Is NOT A Sexual Assailant

Whew. I'm glad we got that one sorta cleared up. According to the Portland Police Bureau, Randolph was named in a sexual assault report taken last week, but is not a suspect. The bureau would not go into further...

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August 7, 2006

Itís Official: Thereís Too Much Money in New York

Jared Jeffries is now a member of the New York Knicks. You may now commence pitying him....

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August 4, 2006

Evan McGoff: Team USA Returning To Form

From now on our general NBA duties will be handled by a certain Evan McGoff. Treat him well, he's got a nice jump shot. For the last 10 years, Team USA has suffered a steady decline in play in both...

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July 20, 2006

Nothing Says USA Like Basketball and Blogging

As the USA basketball team prepares for another embarassing blow to our nation's sports reputation, potential players for the squad are sharing the emotions involved in having to follow up 2004's highly unsucessful squad. Joe Johnson, Antwan Jamison, Brad...

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July 11, 2006

Sneaky. Very, Very Sneaky

LeBron James is one slippery fellow. Watch out Cleveland, he's like the guy who knows all the smooth lines, works his game, woos you into dropping your pants and then is nowhere to be seen in the morning. When...

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July 8, 2006

Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!

That strong gust of wind ruffling the trees outside your window right now is the collective exhale of relief coming from Cleveland right now, as one of the more intriguing stories of the summer has ended. LeBron James has...

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July 3, 2006

Beware of the Bulls (and Ben Wallace)

Although it can't be official until July 12th (when the salary cap is set), it looks like Ben Wallace is moving over to Chicago from the Pistons, where Big Ben was a crucial component to a team that won...

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June 30, 2006

Proof That Masturbating Can Kill People

Stories like this, folks, are the reason we started The Out Route in the first place. Eddie Griffin (the Minnesota Timberwolves center, not the actor/comedian) was arrested and now faces a civil suit after he crashed his car into...

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June 29, 2006

Seven Minutes Of Heaven

Where would we be without Deadspin? Well, the answer to that question today, at least for seven minutes, is at work and humorless. So thank you to the wonderful staff at Deadspin for uncovering gems like this -- Stephen...

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June 28, 2006

Since When Has Isiah Thomas Run The Rockets?

The early first round of the NBA draft fell exactly like the ESPN crew declared it would a half hour before the draft -- what is it with ESPN and ruining drafts? They managed to correctly spoil the first...

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June 27, 2006

So, Where Will He Go Next Year?

James Dolan, ever-prescient owner of the Knicks, has mandated that Isiah Thomas has one year to turn the team around or else he'll suffer the same fate as Larry Brown -- dismissal, followed by ludicrously un-earned settlement package. We...

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June 22, 2006

Futile Future?

The moment we've all been waiting for....(drumroll) Isiah Thomas has replaced Larry Brown as coach of the Knicks. Sometimes the jokes write themselves. But, because we know you want more, check out this great "Ballad of Isiah" done by the...

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June 21, 2006

Cuban Disappoints

We were looking forward to the Mavs being in the Finals because of everyone's (sans David Stern) favorite owner, Mark Cuban. We figured no matter who won, Cuban wouldn't miss the opportunity to steal the spotlight from the guys who...

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June 20, 2006

Calling B.S. On NBA Refs (and Josh Howard, For That Matter)

From now on, The Out Route will be receiving regular contributions from Kyle Decker, an immensely knowledgeable and brutishly handsome young man who's got opinions out the ass. Here's the first of what will be many musings: I'll be honest...

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June 16, 2006

Hoops Hangover - Cuban Crisis

After owning control of the NBA Finals by taking a 2-0 lead, the Mavs are now on the ropes thanks to Miami's 98-74 win in Game 4 last night. Dwyane Wade had 36 and Shaq, who was knocked to the...

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