The Out Route

It might offend just about every right-wing Superman fan, but the original depictions of Superman as a white man are wrong. Just like Jesus, it turns out that Superman, really, is black.

"Well, Jesus was a real person, and history actually shows that he was black. Superman is a fictitious character based on a drawing, so how is it possible to misinterpret his race?" you ask.

Truth is, I don't have a very good answer for that. You're smarter than I expected. But the white Superman only fixed the world in comics, television shows, and a series of movies. Black Superman is taking the piss out of vigilantes in real life.

From The Miami Herald:

Shaquille O'Neal helped catch a hit-and-run suspect early Sunday morning.

O'Neal and bodyguard Jerome Crawford had just returned from an away game in Chicago.

They were outside Crawford's Coconut Grove home unloading luggage when a car, driven by Emmnueo Cibrin, 18, veered into O'Neal's parked 2007 Cadillac Escalade.

O'Neal and his bodyguard saw Cibrin leaving the scene, and leapt into the damaged SUV to give chase. They tailed Cibrin and passenger Junior Rondon for about five minutes before catching up with the two Tampa friends near Southwest 17th Avenue and Coral Way.

How refreshing is it to see an athlete stop reckless behavior on the roads instead of creating it? Chris Henry, you'd be wise to follow this lead.

It doesn't matter if Shaq is good for about 20 games a year, and plays like a bloated shell of his former self. He's helping make America safe. That's good enough for me.