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June 30, 2006

Jose Canseco -- Renaissance Man

Having impressed scouts during his rehab stint in a middle-aged man's softball league, where he was using an aluminum bat (in his hands, a deadly weapon) against guys who were just trying to unwind from their dayjobs in middle-management,...

Proof That Masturbating Can Kill People

Stories like this, folks, are the reason we started The Out Route in the first place. Eddie Griffin (the Minnesota Timberwolves center, not the actor/comedian) was arrested and now faces a civil suit after he crashed his car into...

Thinking Outside The Box Score, 6/29/06

Truthfully, we were really hoping to find an image from the Simpsons episode after Grif comes down with elephantitis, so we could make a joke about how he's gotten a big head after hitting home runs in four consecutive...

June 29, 2006

Seven Minutes Of Heaven

Where would we be without Deadspin? Well, the answer to that question today, at least for seven minutes, is at work and humorless. So thank you to the wonderful staff at Deadspin for uncovering gems like this -- Stephen...

Thinking Outside The Box Score, 6/28/06

When Bill Simmons makes jokes about A-Rod's propensity for hitting home runs in 9-2 games while staying quiet when the score is closer, it seems vaguely true but obviously unsubstantiated. While we're not sure exactly how un-clutch the $252M...

June 28, 2006

Since When Has Isiah Thomas Run The Rockets?

The early first round of the NBA draft fell exactly like the ESPN crew declared it would a half hour before the draft -- what is it with ESPN and ruining drafts? They managed to correctly spoil the first...

Best Wishes, Peter

Without a hint of sarcasm we wish the best to Peter Gammons, one of our favorite sports personalities and a truly one-of-a-kind man. Gammons is notorious for his genuine love of baseball and his encyclopedic knowledge of the game...

Thinking Outside The Box Score, 6/27/06

Jose Reyes got more than just a kiss from Jason Varitek last night when the two met at home plate in the fifth inning. Reyes stayed on the ground for a few minutes before leaving the field in pain....

June 27, 2006

So, Where Will He Go Next Year?

James Dolan, ever-prescient owner of the Knicks, has mandated that Isiah Thomas has one year to turn the team around or else he'll suffer the same fate as Larry Brown -- dismissal, followed by ludicrously un-earned settlement package. We...

Thinking Outside The Box Score, 6/26/06

Ever since Jim Dowd became the first New Jersey born player to play for the Devils (helping them win the '95 Stanley Cup), I've had a thing for players who stay local when they go pro. When this player...

June 26, 2006

Thinking Outside The Box Score, 6/25/06

This is the Byung-Hyun Kim we all remember -- highly-touted closer for the Diamondbacks, potentially destroying his team's chances in the World Series against the Yankees by self-destructing in back-to-back games. It's hard to recall a Yankee who didn't...

June 25, 2006

Getting to Know Your Editors

Two two men responsible for The Out Route:...

Kyle Decker: 64's Company, 128's a Crowd

As soon as this week, coaches will petition the NCAA to expand the college basketball playoff field by doubling it from 64 to 128. Their reasoning is to include more mid-major teams, hopefully create more Cinderella stories, and avoid good...

Words Of Advice from John Rocker

One of the sacred rules in journalism, we learned in college, is not to open a piece of writing with a quote. But fuck it, here's what John Rocker, he the definition of politically correct, has to say about...

June 24, 2006

Someone Should Tell The NHL They Have Until October Before Next Season...

It seems like less than a week ago that Carolina Hurricane Ray Whitney was hoisting the Stanley Cup over his head, shouting "This shit rocks!!" through spaces where non-hockey players have teeth. Well, it was. But alas, the NHL is...

June 22, 2006

Futile Future?

The moment we've all been waiting for....(drumroll) Isiah Thomas has replaced Larry Brown as coach of the Knicks. Sometimes the jokes write themselves. But, because we know you want more, check out this great "Ballad of Isiah" done by the...

June 21, 2006

Guillen to Mariotti: You Take It In the Ass

Photo courtesy of Deadspin For a while, I thought I'd been desensitized by the media: too much violence, too much sex (OK, maybe we can use more of that, but there's still a lot), too much incredible humor. I...

Cuban Disappoints

We were looking forward to the Mavs being in the Finals because of everyone's (sans David Stern) favorite owner, Mark Cuban. We figured no matter who won, Cuban wouldn't miss the opportunity to steal the spotlight from the guys who...

June 20, 2006

Calling B.S. On NBA Refs (and Josh Howard, For That Matter)

From now on, The Out Route will be receiving regular contributions from Kyle Decker, an immensely knowledgeable and brutishly handsome young man who's got opinions out the ass. Here's the first of what will be many musings: I'll be honest...

June 18, 2006

Further Proof Michael Vick Sucks

The Out Route despises Michael Vick. We were impressed when he became the first QB to ever beat the Packers in the playoffs at Lambeau Field, but it's evident now that that had more to do with Brett Favre's slow...

...And the First Shoe Drops

The first of the infamous "Grimsley names" has been unredacted--who ever used the word "redacted" until Grimsley's affidavit was revealed?--and it's...(drumroll)...a 139 career home-run hitter! A DH/utility player! A guy who played for 8 teams in 15 years! It's David...

Bring It Home!

The three words above were the ones chanted by a rabid fan-base in Edmonton last night, sensing a historical run by their Oilers and the first legitimate taste of the Stanley Cup since 1990. The Oilers completely dominated the Hurricanes...

June 16, 2006

In Defense of Hockey

It's important to note, for the apathetic American masses, that the NHL is enjoying an absolutely stellar Stanley Cup Finals, the perfect endcap to a predictably entertaining playoff and surprisingly successful comeback season. Only a year ago, the world of...

Easy, Rider

So Ben Roethlisberger is sorry. And he promises to wear a helmet whenever he rides his motorcycle from now on. I'm sure that's a consolation to the Steelers, who are still cleaning the soil from their underwear after hearing the...

Hoops Hangover - Cuban Crisis

After owning control of the NBA Finals by taking a 2-0 lead, the Mavs are now on the ropes thanks to Miami's 98-74 win in Game 4 last night. Dwyane Wade had 36 and Shaq, who was knocked to the...

June 15, 2006

Come One, Come All

People love sports for more than just the games. This is a fact lost on the general non-sporting public--they think we follow sports to watch a bunch of pituitary cases display their freakish genetics. But there's a lot more going...