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Jose Canseco -- Renaissance Man

Having impressed scouts during his rehab stint in a middle-aged man's softball league, where he was using an aluminum bat (in his hands, a deadly weapon) against guys who were just trying to unwind from their dayjobs in middle-management, Jose Canseco is looking to climb the ladder back to Major League Baseball. And he's starting on what is undoubtedly the lowest rung -- the Golden Baseball League. Canseco signed a contract for the league maximum, $2,500 a month, to join Rickey Henderson in the long line (OK, 2) of MLB alumni to play for the San Diego Surf Dawgs over the years.


But you wanna know what's really surreal? Canseco will play DH as well as, according to the Surf Dawgs' news release, showcase his knuckleball as a member of the team's pitching staff. Before you scoff, consider the fact that Canseco does in fact have pitching experience in the big leagues -- he worked the 9th of a 15-1 loss to the Red Sox in '93 when he was with the Rangers. His line -- 3 ER, 2 hits, 3 BB. His pitch count -- 12 strikes, 21 balls. Also from the press release:

We strive to provide a high quality entertainment product, and Jose will undoubtedly be entertaining for our fans.

Sure, watching a gorilla break the record for most wild pitches in a game has to be entertaining for someone, right? Right?