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Keeping Things Lite

Somehow this small meaningless story has gotten around. I read a blurb in the Star-Ledger this morning. Then later on, the NewsHouse linked this Newsday article. The quick gist is that the Mets new left-fielder, Moises Alou, keeps fit by drinking light beer, as opposed to 48-year-old Julio Franco, who has a very strict diet...and a huge ass, according to Tom.

It looks like someone finally bought into those Michelob Ultra commericals. You know the ones -- the girl and guy down a Michelob Ultra each and then race in the swimming pool. I'm sure that commercial wasn't responsibile for multiple drunken pool racing deaths. Can you only imagine a commercial of Moises Alou drinking a Michelob and then catching a tough fly ball and hitting a home run? I can. But that's because I'll imagine anything that involves the Mets doing well. Do you know how many times I've imagined Carlos Beltran hitting a home run off an Adam Wainwright sinker? I think we're coming close to a billion. Ahh, there it is.

The funniest part of this all is light beer means nothing. I go out to bars and drink Coors, Miller, or Bud Lite all the time. It's still pretty fuckin' bad for you. The fact that he's drinking light beer over regular beer isn't doing anything for his health. It's the same as fat people who will order thick milkshakes but insist on skim milk.

Whether he drinks light beers, regular beers, or does an Irish Car Bomb before each at-bat, as long as his right-handed bat adds what the Mets have been lacking for so long, I won't care. Right-handed pitching hurt them last year. Beltran and Reyes are switch hitters, but both do better off the left side. In fact, Reyes bats .326 against lefties and .237 against righties. Alou's been oft-injured, which makes him a questionable replacement for Cliff Floyd. However, the Mets brass think he can give them the time they need. With Endy Chavez as their fourth fielder, they won't need to work Alou too much. If the brass is right, and Alou pays off and helps the Mets this year, I'll throw back a few cold ones too.