We've come across a lot of white guys, specifically in college, that want to be black. Most of them are Jewish. It's one of the funniest subcultural phenomenons since the birth of hip hop. I mean, what white guy doesn't want style and the ability to dance? Jamie Kennedy has made a career out of wanting to be black. So has Stuart Scott. Not Brian Roberts, though.
The Orioles' Saturday game against the Indians was supposed to be "Brian Roberts Bobblehead Doll" day, except when the team recently received the shipment of dolls, something was wrong. Roberts, who as you can tell above is clearly not black, had inaccurately dark skin. The Orioles have condemned these dolls to the Island of Inaccurately-Pigmented Toys, where they'll join that botched group of Spongebob dolls that came back blue. Maybe, following the Jimmy the Greek formula for athletic success, Roberts should take this as a sign and consider some pigment conversion surgery, like Kyle in South Park. Can't hurt his game.