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So, Uh, Why All The Fuss?

The Evgeni Malkin situation in Pittsburgh is not over. Malkin wants to play in the NHL, for the Pittsburgh team who drafted him. Metallurg Magnitogorsk, who deserve no respect with a name like that, claim they have Malkin locked up for another year, after which Malkin will be a free agent. All of this after the Russian federation agreed to sign a deal that would allow its players to transfer to the NHL for a $200K fee. For the Penguins, who would be able to field two of the best three young players in the world, that should seem like pocket change. So why isn't Malkin in America yet?

Russia obviously doesn't want to let its top player go. But if we're to believe that movie Euro Trip, can't $200K buy you, like, all of Russia? Couldn't the Metljasfj Mlakjdfljajsdfjas just take over the country with that kind of money? And what's strangest about all of this? Russian law has a provision that states any job, even one involving a contract, can be resigned with two weeks notice. All Malkin needs to do is say, "I quit. This is my two weeks notice," and he's a free man. There's some sort of hold-up...why? Is this just an exercise in mutual masturbation -- a bunch of guys trying to make it seem like they're around for a reason? Back in the Cold War days, when the first Russian players came to the NHL, it was a serious political obstacle. Now it's as easy as quitting Kinko's. Shit, I can't even leave my job with two week's notice! These legal eagles aren't so bright, are they?