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Maurice Clarett, THE Ohio State Penitentiary


If you've ever wondered what your eyes would look like with a bottle of mace unloaded into them, look no further. I mean, there's waking up. There's waking up to finding your boss isn't coming into work. There's waking up to hear about basketball players who simultaneously drive drunk and masturbate. And then there's this: Maurice Clarett getting arrested earlier this morning in Ohio. You could find all of the amazing details of the arrest elsewhere, so I won't go through them again.

Let's just revel in the glory of having someone like Clarett for our personal amusement. Where could he have possibly been going with a bulletproof vest already on? Obviously, he was preparing to go after someone or for someone to come after him. I only hope one day Clarett will write a screenplay about his troubles so we can get the full story. In the meantime, my favorite part of the story is when Clarett takes a swig of Grey Goose in front of the officers and starts kicking the doors of the paddy wagon. Only a veteran of the arrest process is brave enough to take a chance like the former, and the latter only goes to show what frame of mind Clarett was in.

If only Oz were still on the air. Hey, revelation! Is it possible Mo is just a really big fan of Playmakers, and is trying to emulate and carry on the legacy of the immortal Demetrius Harris?