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San Diego: Lock Up Your Women and Children

I like Michael Barrett. And it's not because of his less-than-sparkling .256 average and occasionally atrocious play in the field. It's because sometimes you have to put a pitcher in his place. Just like women. And Barrett's not afraid to do that (the audacity in fighting with Carlos Zambrano and Rich Hill, infinitely more valuable players than Barrett, makes me giddy). He's also not afraid to pop A.J. Pierzynski in the mouth, and that guy's always got it coming to him.

Having already asserted his dominance over the Cubs pitching staff, Barrett will have a whole new territory to mark as his own, as the Cubs have sadly sent the volatile backstop to San Diego.

Catchers, like a drummer in a rock band, have to be born with their biochemistry slightly askew to choose to do what they do. And having to kneel behind the plate for 100 or so games a year...it's enough to drive a man madder. It's even driven some to deviant lifestyles ("Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?").

I'm just not so sure pairing him with the unpredictable Giles brothers is going to work. I smell the makings of a great reality show.