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A Long Fall For Quincy Carter

It's a little shortsighted to blame Bill Parcells' retirement on Tony Romo. This is the man who had to deal with Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson, Drew Henson, Vinny Testaverde, and Drew Bledsoe. Compared to that motley crew, Tony Romo is Staubach reincarnated.

So what happens once you cross the Tuna? It's a slippery, slippery slope indeed.

Carter was cut from the Cowboys before the 2004 season due to a combination of poor attitude, drug problems, and the inability for Parcells to trust him leading the team. Which is about as complete a character assault as one could receive; other than that, he's just swell.

After being cut by the Jets because of that same drug problem, Carter signed with the Alouettes in 2006 and was cut a month later....because of a drug problem. Even Ricky Williams stayed sober enough to last a month in the CFL.

Now? Carter is preparing to play for the Bossier-Shreveport (La.) Battle Wings of Arena Football 2. Sad, no?

"I've watched the game from the beginning of the Dallas Desperados (an AFL team owned by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones). It is perfect for my skills," Carter said during a news conference to announce his signing, according to the team's Web site.

"... I see af2 as a place to begin the process of getting back to the National Football League," Carter said, between bong rips.

(Something in the quote is doctored. See if you can spot it.)

That's a happy face for Carter to put on, but he can't possibly believe that, at 29, he's going to work his way back up to the NFL. Or maybe he does. Which is delusional.

Far be it for me to judge and try to diagnose a man's character flaws; I don't know him and I'm no cognitive therapist. But I have an inkling all of Carter's troubles might stem from being named Lavonya Quintelle Carter at birth. Lavonya!