« The Mets Would Love to Kill Your Dream | Main | In Other Kid-Hate News.... »

You Know, I Don't Even Have a Joke for This

So, when Ozzie Guillen yells at a rookie to hit a batter with a pitch, it makes the news. It demands attention. But what if that batter was 9-years old? And what if he was also autistic?

That's exactly what Pennsylvania native Mark R. Downs Jr. was accused of; he avoided serious charges, convicted of corruption of minors and criminal solicitation to commit simple assault. What did he do? Well, probably about the most immoral thing a t-ball coach can do, excluding molestation. He paid an 8-year-old on his team $25 to intentionally bean an autistic kid on the same team in warmups, just to keep the autistic kid out of their game.

The 8-year-old, calculating exactly how many candy bars; or Pokemon cards; or whatever it is kids are into these days he could get with the money, obliged. He hit the 9-year-old autistic kid twice -- once in the ear, and to add insult to injury, once in the groin. Somewhere, Hans Moman feels the pain.

Luckily, the autistic child (who's name I'm not including because, well, hasn't he suffered enough?) walked away with just a couple of bruises and an infected ear. If the injuries were more serious, Downs would have been convicted of stronger charges.

I mean...wow. Who knew the world of Buttfuck, PA. t-ball was so competitive?